I can feel you judging me through the phone.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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