kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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