What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
