My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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