had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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