its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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