The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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