Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
