How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
