Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
