My hair reeks of homosexuality.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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