I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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