i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
