I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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