it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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