i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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