I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
