drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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