I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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