This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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