you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
