If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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