i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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