garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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