Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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