They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Text me some of your sweat
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