Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
