Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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