I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
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Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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