My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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