Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
