It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm too high and old for this...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
