ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
