This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
