you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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