how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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