I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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