Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
