So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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