Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize