Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
