Betty ford says i'm here all night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
