If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you had me at cake vodka
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize