Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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