Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
