So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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