he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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