Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize