I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
