Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
