I wanna bring you to show and tell
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Blood and glitter go together right?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
