after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.