thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
your room smells of hookers.
And success
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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