Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.

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  (516): My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday. http://tfl.nu/iu5d
  Replies (8) Good night (2624) Bad night (1061)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you

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  (321): You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you http://tfl.nu/ey1b
  Replies (71) Good night (3768) Bad night (658)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  The bars here don't close until 4!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  my legs don't close until 4

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  (407): The bars here don't close until 4! (703): my legs don't close until 4 http://tfl.nu/ja9y
  Replies (28) Good night (3679) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon

  (1-631): View more from New York

  been there done that

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  (631): i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon (1-631): been there done that http://tfl.nu/mjyl
  Replies (13) Good night (2266) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

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  (410): cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me http://tfl.nu/jebo
  Replies (11) Good night (547) Bad night (2059)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.

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  (815): This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing. http://tfl.nu/2ksa
  Replies (15) Good night (513) Bad night (2434)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win

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  (609): Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win http://tfl.nu/6ut9
  Replies (43) Good night (630) Bad night (3958)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.

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  (614): Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/mefj
  Replies (38) Good night (7546) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.

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  (605): there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife. http://tfl.nu/kzgo
  Replies (5) Good night (1527) Bad night (5818)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.

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  (218): If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting. http://tfl.nu/wbx1
  Replies (12) Good night (3798) Bad night (977)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.

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  (919): Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home. http://tfl.nu/79vz
  Replies (9) Good night (1460) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing

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  (203): Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing http://tfl.nu/rf46
  Replies (2) Good night (1332) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  That was beautiful.

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  (775): True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate. (1-775): That was beautiful. http://tfl.nu/d63d
  Replies (4) Good night (1472) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.

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  (408): We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn. http://tfl.nu/p0jo
  Replies (20) Good night (1228) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear

  (1-716): View more from New York

  The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear

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  (716): oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear (1-716): The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear http://tfl.nu/5vws
  Replies (4) Good night (616) Bad night (252)

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