Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.

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  (323): how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs. http://tfl.nu/c8lq
  Replies (9) Good night (2242) Bad night (938)
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  (951): View more from California

  ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am

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  (951): ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am http://tfl.nu/357a
  Replies (17) Good night (3320) Bad night (1428)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?

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  (410): I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this? http://tfl.nu/lrwi
  Replies (27) Good night (614) Bad night (4630)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just snuked. Sneezed and puked

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  (608): I just snuked. Sneezed and puked http://tfl.nu/izkl
  Replies (16) Good night (1341) Bad night (6596)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...

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  (303): theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner... http://tfl.nu/glgi
  Replies (24) Good night (1172) Bad night (5420)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.

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  (970): I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment. http://tfl.nu/cc9w
  Replies (9) Good night (3929) Bad night (1313)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.

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  (215): The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law. http://tfl.nu/o7ax
  Replies (7) Good night (3758) Bad night (1232)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?

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  (205): remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/cz0w
  Replies (3) Good night (1683) Bad night (964)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand

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  (215): The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand http://tfl.nu/qoyx
  Replies (4) Good night (1069) Bad night (937)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks

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  (412): I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks http://tfl.nu/tkbs
  Replies (6) Good night (1605) Bad night (659)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.

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  (316): You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times. http://tfl.nu/0lcm
  Replies (3) Good night (903) Bad night (595)
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  (627): View more from California

  Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.

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  (627): Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time. http://tfl.nu/xynl
  Replies (7) Good night (2492) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  It was "against protocol"

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  (479): I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me. (479): It was "against protocol" http://tfl.nu/5591
  Replies (5) Good night (798) Bad night (356)
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  (323): View more from California

  We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night

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  (323): We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night http://tfl.nu/njny
  Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?

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  (713): Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers? http://tfl.nu/szjv
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (153)

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