After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.