Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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