Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
