So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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