i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
