I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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