Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
