i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
