hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
