You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
