he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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